Red Flags

Infidelity dialogue usually always includes the topic of missed red flags.   I know I talk about the warnings I missed.  I can’t stop.  I don’t know why.  It has to be part of the recover process.  Why else would I return to the red flags over and over again? Indulgence?  Glutton for punishment? Or, on…

Homewreckers Other Than the One with Your Husband, Part II

Do you remember in my first post, Homewreckers Other Than the One with Your Husband, Part I, , how I mentioned that it is challenging (to say the least) to get along at work and other social functions in the company of a loud and proud homewrecker. Today was another day working with Melinda, the homewrecker who…

Loss, Part II

He wanted me to go through my dead daughter’s apartment like a common pilferer and leave everything I didn’t want for the landlord to sort and discard.  I was numb with grief.  Being numb with grief does not stop people from saying some very offensive things. Much of what is said can be dismissed as…

Infidelity Exposes Cowardliness, Part III

Sometimes when I use my Navy Federal Credit Union visa debit/check card, the employee processing my transaction will thank my husband for his service.  I used to keep my mouth shut and not say anything, sort of the way you say, “Fine,” when someone asks you, “How’s your day?” when in actuality your day has…

Infidelity Exposes Cowardliness, Part II

In the first part of this post about how infidelity exposes cowardliness,  I mentioned how it is the injured spouse who has to resolve the conflict that the cheating spouse created when he avoided addressing the initial problem at home. When children are involved, including adult children, many people will turn to the woman/wife/mother and…

Homewreckers Other Than the One with Your Husband, Part I

We all know the definition of a homewrecker even if we never actually looked it up in the dictionary.  How does our knowledge of this type of person develops, pre-personal experience? Who knows? Maybe it was a plot line in one of our favorite television show.   Mad Men certainly had a few home wrecking storylines…

Cheaters and Casinos

The Chump Lady’s post today talks about the sordidness of cheaters and casinos. I LMAO LMAO LMAO all the way through it. The similarities that cowardly cheaters share are interesting, more diverting than their contribution to marriage. My cheater used to meet his whore at the casino. He knew how I felt about the casino….

I Don’t Work for Ghosts

If no one gave me a manual and a mentor to help guide me with parenting (mothering) my children, why should I take on the responsibility of being my husband’s child-rearing mentor?  WHY? It’s not my job. I’m not his mother. My job to my children is to be a good parent to them.  It is…

Smart

The following poem sums up my husband’s financial management style.  You couldn’t tell him anything and he was always so sure what he was doing was superior to anyone else’s suggestion. Such as refinancing a house six months after it was bought (and insisting the house was in his name only.  Turns out that doesn’t…

Exploiting the Soon-To-Be-Ex Phrase

Fact: I am divorcing my husband because he is a lying and cheating scoundrel. When he cheated with his whore, he was my husband; there was absolutely no talk of anyone becoming a soon-to-be-ex anything. Until our divorce is final, I never think about referring to him as anything but my husband whenever his narcissistic buffoonery…