Rage Day

What the hell does he have to be so angry about?  He cheated.  He knew the rules from day one.  We went to pre-martial counseling.  We took the personality tests and did the harmonious relationship comparisons and everything they had at the time to determine if we would be a successful marriage.  If he feigned…

With Love To My Wife

Back in May when I first started purging the house to get ready to move when the divorce is final, I stacked up all the birthday, Valentine’s Day, anniversary, etc. cards from the cheater that I had accumulated over the years. Most of them start with, “’To the love of my life’, ‘Dear Wife’, and…

What Your Husband Told the Homewrecker

If you are easily embarrassed, you should brace yourself at the thought of what your husband has told his whore, the homewrecker. He has told his whore every little inconsequential detail and mannerism of yours and he does it with a poor pitiful, “look what I had to put up” angle. Nothing that you shared…

Rations

I had a kernel of this thought published before and removed it because I felt like it was whining.  I wouldn’t feel like it was whining if I knew my audience was diverse and wide, but I understand for the most part people who read me or probably people like me, someone who needs to…

Red Flags

Infidelity dialogue usually always includes the topic of missed red flags.   I know I talk about the warnings I missed.  I can’t stop.  I don’t know why.  It has to be part of the recover process.  Why else would I return to the red flags over and over again? Indulgence?  Glutton for punishment? Or, on…

Comeuppance and Scalp Picking

No one gets through a divorce from cheating unscathed, I know this and I have to believe this even when I don’t ever see the damage done to the guilty parties. Supposedly, one day the Cheater will wake up and realize he is broke, alone, drunk, and dying of lung cancer. When the taxman and…

Homewreckers Other Than the One with Your Husband, Part II

Do you remember in my first post, Homewreckers Other Than the One with Your Husband, Part I, , how I mentioned that it is challenging (to say the least) to get along at work and other social functions in the company of a loud and proud homewrecker. Today was another day working with Melinda, the homewrecker who…

Loss, Part II

He wanted me to go through my dead daughter’s apartment like a common pilferer and leave everything I didn’t want for the landlord to sort and discard.  I was numb with grief.  Being numb with grief does not stop people from saying some very offensive things. Much of what is said can be dismissed as…

Loss, Part I

All three children (2 toddlers and the oldest barely 7) went through cycles of crying and bouts of vomiting and diarrhea during the first 7-10 days while we travelled and after we got them to our house.  And in the middle of my trauma and my grandchildren’s trauma was my teenager going through the trauma…

Infidelity Exposes Cowardliness, Part III

Sometimes when I use my Navy Federal Credit Union visa debit/check card, the employee processing my transaction will thank my husband for his service.  I used to keep my mouth shut and not say anything, sort of the way you say, “Fine,” when someone asks you, “How’s your day?” when in actuality your day has…

Infidelity Exposes Cowardliness, Part II

In the first part of this post about how infidelity exposes cowardliness,  I mentioned how it is the injured spouse who has to resolve the conflict that the cheating spouse created when he avoided addressing the initial problem at home. When children are involved, including adult children, many people will turn to the woman/wife/mother and…

Infidelity Exposes Cowardliness, Part I

When the divorce attorney asked me about marriage counseling, I was thrown off for a second, but only a second.  Intellectually, I know it is something offered or recommended for many divorcing couples.  However, I haven’t thought of it because from day one, I declared that infidelity would be a deal breaker, and I meant…