“So Much Wasted Time”

Supposedly, David Cassidy’s last words were ,“So much wasted time.” I feel time, acutely.  Every minute of every hour of every day, I worry about the time.  I worry if I did enough each hour to prepare each day for the day that we can move forward.  I worry if I did enough each day…

Wishing Your Ex-Husband Dead

When I laughed again this morning at an article and its comments (mostly the comments) my daughter said she had thought I was just tired last night when I couldn’t breathe from laughing so long and hard over the same comments. Honestly, I hadn’t had that good of a laugh in a long time. The…

Worst Grandpa EVER! Shouldn’t Be Able to Vote

As I continue to purge the house to get ready to move, periodically I find little items that help me exercise my rage. I chucked the mug in the picture out the back door. Initially it didn’t break so I had to keep rage-throwing it to the very back of the lot until it was…

Resolve

Fuckface and his whore stalked the internet every day for hours during the last twelve months hoping to find any little nugget that he could use against me in our divorce trial.  Therefore, I had to stay quiet for a bit to make sure they were not sniffing around here.  Turns out, they were not. …

Rage Day

What the hell does he have to be so angry about?  He cheated.  He knew the rules from day one.  We went to pre-martial counseling.  We took the personality tests and did the harmonious relationship comparisons and everything they had at the time to determine if we would be a successful marriage.  If he feigned…

With Love To My Wife

Back in May when I first started purging the house to get ready to move when the divorce is final, I stacked up all the birthday, Valentine’s Day, anniversary, etc. cards from the cheater that I had accumulated over the years. Most of them start with, “’To the love of my life’, ‘Dear Wife’, and…

What Your Husband Told the Homewrecker

If you are easily embarrassed, you should brace yourself at the thought of what your husband has told his whore, the homewrecker. He has told his whore every little inconsequential detail and mannerism of yours and he does it with a poor pitiful, “look what I had to put up” angle. Nothing that you shared…

Rations

I had a kernel of this thought published before and removed it because I felt like it was whining.  I wouldn’t feel like it was whining if I knew my audience was diverse and wide, but I understand for the most part people who read me or probably people like me, someone who needs to…

Red Flags

Infidelity dialogue usually always includes the topic of missed red flags.   I know I talk about the warnings I missed.  I can’t stop.  I don’t know why.  It has to be part of the recover process.  Why else would I return to the red flags over and over again? Indulgence?  Glutton for punishment? Or, on…

Homewreckers Other Than the One with Your Husband, Part II

Do you remember in my first post, Homewreckers Other Than the One with Your Husband, Part I, , how I mentioned that it is challenging (to say the least) to get along at work and other social functions in the company of a loud and proud homewrecker. Today was another day working with Melinda, the homewrecker who…

Loss, Part II

He wanted me to go through my dead daughter’s apartment like a common pilferer and leave everything I didn’t want for the landlord to sort and discard.  I was numb with grief.  Being numb with grief does not stop people from saying some very offensive things. Much of what is said can be dismissed as…

Loss, Part I

All three children (2 toddlers and the oldest barely 7) went through cycles of crying and bouts of vomiting and diarrhea during the first 7-10 days while we travelled and after we got them to our house.  And in the middle of my trauma and my grandchildren’s trauma was my teenager going through the trauma…